idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
