I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Non-Jews are for practice
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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