thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
