I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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