how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
