No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
