Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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