guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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