were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
