wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
