and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
