ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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