dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
