HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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