and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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