I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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