Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I am available for nakedness
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
