Welp...herpes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
