Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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