talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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