:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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