plz talk dirty to me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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