dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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