Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
