problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
