Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i think i just lost a toe
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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