I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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