My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I could fuck to npr.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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