I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
