I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
