I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
