yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
