hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
