thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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