the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
