you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
