i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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