i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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