I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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