Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
