So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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