My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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