Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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