wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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