Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just google imaged poop.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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