So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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