What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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