i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
