OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
