he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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