i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
