i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
