I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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