I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
